Hello!
Apologies for the near-four-week gap between this entry and the last one. I hope you haven’t all been too worried about my absence.
The truth is that I’ve been rushed off my feet since my jellied eels video became in overnight global sensation. It’s been crazy just how popular it’s been – The video has been watched a whopping 39 times… Can you believe it? THIRTY-NINE!
As a result of the unexpected success of my video, I have been overwhelmed with offers to do chat shows, shop openings and product endorsements. I’m pretty sure if it was closer to Christmas, I’d be on the verge of being asked to switch on the Blackpool Illuminations (Let’s just pretend that they haven’t already been switched on this year, okay?)
Obviously, I’ve turned all the offers down because I’m already way behind in this trying to eat fifty-two new foods in fifty-two weeks venture – I wouldn’t want to let you all down.
Just imagine if I was to be the new face of Nut Bar… Seems somewhat fitting.
In order to get back on track, I have contemplated visiting McDonalds every seven days to eat one of their special burgers. I haven’t eaten a ‘Mexican Fiesta’ or an ‘Australian BBQ Supreme’ or any of the recent ‘Stereotype Burgers’, so, I guess, it would still count… But, I’d imagine it wouldn’t be very interesting for you, me or my cholesterol levels.
I’ll have a Chinese Number 19 Egg Fried Rice Burger, an Italian Bunga Bunga Pasta Burger and a French Garlic Frogs Legs Burger, please… Oh, and a side order of heart bypass surgery.
This week’s food first is Nut Roast and was initially someone else’s dinner…
As a bit of a gannet, I’d eaten all my food at a sociable family dinner in a pub and was still a bit hungry. I have this trick of eating my dinner really quickly and then staring at other people’s meals until they become uncomfortable with being watched. They then often ask if I want any of anything they have yet to finish. If it’s acceptable for dogs to do it, then I see no reason why it’s not acceptable for me to do it – I obviously stop short of dribbling and sticking my face into the food.
For a while, I had been ogling a Sunday roast on the other side of the table and occasionally asking strategic questions about the contents of the plate when I was offered a chunk of nut roast. Questions along the lines of ‘is your food nice?’ and ‘can I finish anything you can’t finish?’ often do the trick
Free nut roast with added carrot and potato – Result!
This was great for two reasons: –
(1) I was still hungry.
(2) I had never eaten nut roast before, so it was a food first of the opportunistic variety.
Nut roast is something I had never eaten before because it is a food that is usually eaten as an alternative to meat in a Sunday lunch. I could never ever bring myself to forgo the meaty part of a roast, so had never encountered it on a plate within cutlery’s-reach before.
Nut Roast – Nutty and… er… Roasty
It looked like a chunk of stuffing – which, I guess is what it ultimately is – only with the addition of nut. It tasted like stuffing – only with (you’ve guessed it) a nutty taste. It was perfectly palatable and I would happily consider eating it again… But only as an extra item on my plate – NEVER as a substitute for meat.
As you can see, I still have a massive issue with describing food – I just don’t have enough adjectives in my vocabulary. I hope this doesn’t spoil anyone’s enjoyment of this blog too much.
Coming up next week… (Hopefully!)
I’ve been buying scotch bonnet peppers on a regular basis for the last month or two in anticipation of eating them (What else would I do with them?) but have just let them decompose in the fridge on each occasion because I’m scared of what they might do to me.
The plan is to film another one of my incredibly ‘popular’ videos and let you watch me spontaneously combust – I’m just waiting for the fire extinguisher I ordered from eBay to arrive. Wish me luck…
Fifty-Two Weeks of Filling My Cheeks 